Moron Mail
...Why are some wrestling fans so stupid?

DISCLAIMER: This is the place where I showcase mail from people who are insulting and act like jerks, and only for that. I enjoy recieving mail criticizing my opinions and my site, as long as you don't insult me or act like an ass. Only a few people are put here, so don't let it discourage you from sending me e-mail!

From: Scott Barkby
Subject: your column is gay!!!!!!!!!!!
Message: your site bites balls. stone cold wasnt even on the top 5 or bottom 5 wrestlers. whats your problem. and the new age outlaws. their so much better than the brood. you probably dont even watch wrestling. know your role and get it right son!!!!!!!! you also left out the stunner for his finisher, thats batter than the rock bottom. its better than hollywood hogans leg drop. leg drop...... what the hells the big deal about the leg drop. your muphed up in the head buddy. fellow, get your priorities strait thier. your gay. road dogg is awesome and your gay cause you dont like them. word of the day- JACKASS!!!!!!!!!! suck me beotch. bite my nuts!!!!!!! r u gay???? you sound like a real pansy. loooooooooser!!!!!!! $BARKSTER$
MY REPLY: Me may just have a new King of the Morons with ol' "Barkster" here (or as I fondly call him "Markster"). First of all, this obsession with you wanting me to bite your balls if totally freaky. That just ain't normal. I really despise people who can't stand the fact that not everyone agrees with their opinion. And good old Markster here is a prime example. Surely people can understand that using wrestler's catchphrases don't make them cool. Telling me to know my role, or to suck it or calling me a jackass just makes you look stupid. Hell, this guy deserves it. I proclaim thee King of the Marks 2! Feel proud!

From: DANIEL P. WHITE
Subject: No Subject
Message: update you page!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HHH isn't in D-X anymore!!!!!!!!!! thank god!!!!!!!! i'm insulted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D-X is the best there is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't say a punk-ass jobber like HHH is in D-X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! signed, a true fan
MY REPLY: OK! Apparently the more exlamation points you use, the better you will get your point across. Well in that case, DANIEL P. WHITE IS AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A true fan, yeah right. A true moron, definitely.

From: Sue Walters
Subject: No Subject
Message: Dear buzzkiller you know nothing what so ever about wrestling!!!!Having wcw mentioned on your site is embarrassing enough but saying you like and have favourites in wcw is........ just plain BULLSHIT.And I agree with Mick Foley as # 1 but the Rock as number 3 what the hell were you thinking.The Brood #1???????? Edge isn't that bad but #1?? Havn't you herd of the NEW AGE OUTLAWS???Oh yeah the last Raw wasn't in January!![this means its time to update your site]. Your site is so terrible we 2 words for ya S*CK IT.
MY REPLY: Well, this is a surprisingly mild letter. I love people who tell me that I don't know anything about wrestling or that I never watch it. Yes, I make websites about subjects that I know nothing about. Gimme a break! And as always, my opinions are bullshit. Yes I've heard of the New Age Outlaws. And I don't like them! So what's your damn point! But then the grand finale..."we 2 words for ya" Hehehe, way to put together a sentence!

From: Private
Subject: NWO
Message: HI LEX LUGER HOW ARE YOU ? FINE I HOPE I LOVE WHEN YOU FLEX, YOUR CHEST. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?
MY REPLY: Oh, well I had a little injury while I was.. oh wait, I'm not Lex Luger! This isn't a "real" moron (which is why I kept his name private) but I put it here as a reminder that I am not a wrestler!

From: Ausnerd2
Subject: No Subject
Message: Man you say hogans doll he'll come to your house and whoop on you you.
MY REPLY: Man, for a while there I was getting worried. I wasn't receiving enough stupid mail. But then I got this, and boy was I relieved! First of all I don't rememner saying Hogan was a doll, and second of all I doubt he would come all the way to my house just because I don't like him, just to beat me up. This is one of the stupidest messages I've ever got. Thanks Ausnerd2!

From: Amber Jayde
Subject: Guestbook Entry
Message: Where the fuck is the Undertaker on you shit list you scum bag? And what do you mean everyone loves the Rock? The Rock is the biggest tosser in exsistance.
MY REPLY: Less of a moron then I am used to, what with the capitalization and periods. Hell, even proper spelling! Color me impressed! The message is still kind of stupid "Where the fuck is Undertaker on you shitlist" Huh?! Oh well.

From: thown
Subject: collum
Message: YOU GUYS ARE A$$ HOLES THIS WILL BE SENT TO YOU EVERY WEEK FUCK YOU ASS HOLES
MY REPLY: Wow! This guy sure fooled me! By putting a misleading subject header, and then insulting me in the message! Wow, how sneaky. I always wonder what goes on in people's heads when within the same message they censor Asshole, and then go on to say "Fuck You Asshole" with no censoring. Something wrong in the head, if you know what I mean. Anyway, not exactly sure what he's going to send to me every week, but I'm sure it will make me sorry (yeah, right)!

From: Susan Bradford
Subject: you suck!!!!!!!!
Message: konan is a good guy you take that off or i will send u a virus and if u dont ill take my boot and shove it up your ass!!!!! the same goes for ddp you ass hole
MY REPLY: Hooo boy! First off, the fact that you would send me a virus because you don't like my opinions, is pretty darn sad. First off, since you have already warned me about the virus, don't you think I'd be smart enough to just delete mail from you? Duh! Oh such originality from these people, eh?

From: @@#%#@^
Subject: Guestbook Entry
Message: THIS WAS A TRASHY PAGE YOUR OPINIONS A REALLY FUCKING GAY. YOU TOP 5 LIST ARE GAY EXCEPT FOR THE CRIPPLER. BUT THE WARRIOR WILL ALWAYS BE #1 THEN SHAWN. FUCK OFF YOU PIECE OF TRASH I WOULD LIKE YOU TO GET IN THE RING WITH GOLDBERG.HE WOULD WIPE HIS ASS WITH YOU,THEN PREACH YOUR OPPINIONS YOU MOTHER @#$%&^. HAVE A NICE DAY. DON'T GET BURNED!!!!!! ..................................
MY REPLY: Does saying fuck a lot make you feel like a big man or what? It sure does not impress me! My favorite line of this message was "you top 5 list are gay". Yet again I have to explain to some poor individual that wrestling is not real. Goldberg does not really beat people up. That's the equivalent of saying "I'd like to see you get in a ring with Superman cuz he'd beat you up!". Superman is a character. So is Goldberg. And I'll try not to get burned, whatever that means. Why don't you people say something that makes sense??

From: nwo for life
Subject: Guestbook Entry
Message: this sucks goldburg rocks austin rocks and you suck if you knew good wrestlers you could comment by the way the king aiso sucks his jokes arent even funny by the way new new new new world order 4 life
MY REPLY: Gee, someone who is mad at me for not liking Austina nd Goldberg.. what a shock! By the way new new new new new new new new new new world order to you to, whatever that's supposed to mean. Do you have a stuttering problem that shows through in your typing??

From: Ed Powers
Subject: Guestbook Entry
Message: You have no fucking clue about wrestling. Your top 5 wrestlers list is a fucking joke. Raven is the shitiest wrestler ever. In fact WCW sucks a big cock. How can you not have any members from DX in your top 5? You are a cocky sonofabitch that should get their ass kicked for being a dumb ass. You think you know so much about wrestling and you've been a wrestling fan for 10 years or whatever. It sure the hell doesn't show. Get this shit off the internet because it is making wrestling look really bad. This site is for people that don't know a fucking thing about wrestling and will believe all the shit you put on here. Have a nice day!!
MY REPLY: How can I not have any members from DX in my Top 5? Simple, I don't like them enough! I should get my ass kicked for being a dumbass, eh? Well that's good to know. Most people call me a smartass. Then he tells me I am making wrestling look bad? Why? For having my own F'N opinion? I'd make wrestling look better if I went around marking out for DX and the Wolfpac, right? Whatever.

From: rocky miavia
Subject: Guestbook Entry
Message: Alright candy ass. Now everyone is trying to tell the rock on how to act. But you know what gibroni I couldn't give a rat's ass! Now I know that and you know that I am the peoples champ and there is no damn way that you or your boyfriend could tell me I am the 5 best. I should be Number fucken 1 now if i ever see your damn face or another bad review. CAN YOU SMELL WHAT IM COOKIN
MY REPLY: Gee Rocky, you'd think you could spell your last name right. I hate to break this to you people, but when you impersonate wrestlers, you're going to be in the Moron Mailbag! Why would the Rock spend all his time surfing internet sites and insulting them?

From: marianne prager
Subject: None
Message: You don't know anything! Goldburg and The Warrior are the 2 best fighters in wrestling. Get a life and a brain! If you watched wrestling you would know Hawk and animal broke up. And they still can wrestle better then anybody! Man your still stupid. The King sucks at everything he does. Funny ya right, they would be better off firing him. Your the reason this place have so less people then anybody else! If you knew anything , man you would get out of this. You loser get a brain !!!!!!!!!!!
MY REPLY: Here is a classic desciption of a moron. Goldberg and Warrior are the best and so are the LOD? Yeah sure, I'm sure in your marked out little mind they are. I'm sure getting a life will fix my opinion! Yeah, sure. Then my favorite comment. I am the reason this place have so less people than anybody else. WTF??! If there is any reason that i should "get out of this" it is because of morons like you!

From: skeeley
Subject: Announcers
Message: why the hell do you hate tony shivonie !!!??? he is the greatest announcer there is and all you do is dis all the WCW announcers! Whats up with that WCW is the bomb and WWF SUCKS ! Austin looks nothing like goldberg and what the hell do you know!
MY REPLY: I just had to include this. Why do I hate Tony Schiavone (by the way, you spelled it wrong). He is the greatest anouncer? I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that comment. In fact, this was the most disturbing e-mail I have ever recieved!

From: bbirgen
Subject: tips for you
Message: before you run you mouth on how much you no stuff learn how to not be gay you think chris jerico is better than bill goldberg and one reason you are a RETARD!!! if you want me to name some more reason email me back BAB gun
MY REPLY: It's guys like this, that make running this webiste so much fun. I can laugh at the total idiots who e-mail me. I "no" stuff! Oooooh good one! I should learn "how not to be gay". Good grammar! And if I have an opinion, that doesn't match this guy's, I am a retard. I e-mailed this guy, because he claims he has "more reaons" and I never got a reply. Oh yeah, punctuation helps get a point across. Must be 12 years old.

From: JORD & DAVID BARRETT
Subject: HOLLYWOOD HULK HOGAN
Message: HOLLYWOOD HULK HOGAN IS THE ICON OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING, WHERE DO U GET OFF SAYING HE IS TOO OLD, HE GETS OUT THERE EVERY WEEK AND WRESTLES WITH THE BEST OF THEM, AND IF HE EVER DID HIS LEG DROP TO U BUDDY,IF THAT IS UR REAL NAME, U'D GO CRYING HOME TO UR MOMMY, SO GIVE THE MAN SOME R-E-S-P-E-C-T, HE CERTAINLY HAS EARNED IT U MORON FROM ME
MY REPLY: No... my name is not buddy. Are you a moron or something? Oh wait, you are! That's why you're in the moron mailbag! I'd go crying if he did his leg drop to me. Right. Like I wouldn't be able to see a slow, fat, old man waddling towards me, jump up and land on me. Wouldn't I move out of the way? R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.. it means nothing, because you called me a moron. If you didn't call me amoron, I wouldn't have put you here. But insults are insults! Ans that caps lock button... does it make you feel mature?

From: Lt. H
Subject: Guestbook Entry
Message: Whoever wrote this is a freak who don't know anything about wrestling or wrestlers!!!! I mean, on the list of the top 5 wrestlers you had the Rock? You did not have any member of Degeneration X, Stone Cold Steve Austin, or Goldberg. And, you put Goldberg on the list as one of the bottom 5 wrestlers!!!! What are you an idiot or just braindead? Before you go and start putting stuff of the internet for people to read your ass needs to call somebody and if you don't like it, I've to two words for ya...SUCK IT!!!!
MY REPLY: Note to everyone. Calling me a freak, is a great way to get into the Moron Mailbag! I've been a wrestling fan for about 10 years, but I don't know anything about it? That's interesting. It's also always nice to know that I cannot have an opinion without being called a braindead idiot, because someone else doesn't agree with it. Oh, and remember to be trendy and use some popular DX catchphrases at the end of your message. Otherwise you just couldn't really be a huge moron, you'd just be a big moron. By telling me to Suck It, are you saying that you are homosexual and desire oral stimulation from me? Because I'm sorry, but that's just not my lifestyle choice.

From: Rick
Subject: Guestbook Entry
Message: You piece of CRAP your site sucks and has a lot of typo's and misleading and flase information. If you want to see a real site check mine out. You have good idea's like the top five wrestlers and tagteams. But the stupid answer's that you filled in make me and my friends of our ring of wrestling websites LAUGH. For example you typed MICK FOLEY it's NICK.. you bastard. so fix your freakin site and freakin UPDATE IT!!! you retard you have a a section about recent raws which aren't recent at all. For example your most recent raw and nitro are from JULY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Your a embarssment to all wrestling websites. I'm going to write to my friend at PWI.(Pro Wrestling Illustrated) and tell him how shitty your freakin site is.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU JACK @$$ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY REPLY: Oh man, I had a field day with this guy! He tells me I have too many typos and then goes on to say I have "flase" info. Speaking of typos. Ha! I make him and his friends who have a ring of wrestling sites laugh. Believe me, anyone who's group of friends is a bunch of people who sit around and make wrestling websites, can laugh all they like! Oh, anyone who is at least a bit into WWF knows that it is indeed Mick Foley, not Nick. Then he rants about me updating his site. This guy updates his website 5 TIMES EVERY FREAKING DAY! Get a life! Is he getting money to do it? Nope, it's just a cruddy Geocities page with no banner ads or nothing. I am sorry that I have a social life away from making a web page. And I guess saying he has friends at PWI is supposed to make me jealous? Is it supposed to make him look cool? I dunno... if I'm an embarassment to the kind of websites he runs, I am damn proud of it! Then, the mother of all insults, I am a JACK@$$. Whatever that is. Slap a "K" on his head for King of the Morons.

From: The Rock
Subject: Guestbook Entry
Message: the rock thinks your page sucks if you smell what the rock is cooking!
MY REPLY: Sigh. Some people at least put a small amount of thought into their insults...

From: Private
Subject: Guestbook Entry
Message: xpac, you are my favorit wrestler
MY REPLY: Look people, I'm not X-Pac. I am just some guy who lives in western Canada who makes websites in his spare time.



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