Smooth Words

By SilkySmooth

Well, apparently NWO-Hollywood is getting a push lately. The tag titles and the US title are now in possession of the black and white.
I myself find this as somewhat of a depressing situation, and I can't wait to see Big Sexy knock some sense into Hogan's little stooge Scott Hall.
Anyway, I must move on and acknowledge Jean Paul Levesque (a.k.a. Hunter Hearst Helmsly) as the coolest person on the face of the earth. Every straight guy on earth should worship this man for getting that woman to show her (big) breasts. For that matter, every straight guy should loathe the censors for putting that bar over this woman's (big) breasts.
Next, when the hell is DDP going to actually join the Wolfpac? Every single show I see DDP and the Wolfpac somehow involved together, so just join already!
Anyway, lots of rumors have been floating around the internet about the return of James Hellwig (The Ultimate Warrior for all you marks out there reading this) to the sport of professional wrestling. The Warrior is expected to make his debut on Nitro on August 17.
Whether or not these rumors are true or not has yet to be confirmed, but I for one would love to see the return of this wrestling superstar. Hopefully we could see him and Sting team up to reform their old tag team The Blade Runners. Which of course means the Warrior would join NWO-WOlfpac and restart one of the greatest feuds in wrestling history. The Hogan/Warrior feud.
Speaking of feuds; I'm really tired of seeing this whole Austin/McMahon/Kane/Mankind/Undertaker conspiracy crap. It's about time that Austin starts wrestling other wrestlers than these dead/undead/mysterious freaks.
It appears that thw WWF is having problems creating feuds with Austin as their champion. Kind of like the same problems WCW is having with Goldberg as their champion.
Which, by the way, why don't we hop into our SilkySmooth Pro-Wrestling Time Machine and travel back to when Steve Austin was nearing the end of his WCW career.
Eric Bischoff called Austin one day to tell him he was fired because a wrestler in black boots and trunks was just plain "unmarketable". So after a short time in ECW and Japan, Austin then came to the promised land: The World Wrestling Federation, where Vince McMahon seemingly had no trouble at all marketing this wrestler in black boots and trunks.
So now we come back to present day and find that the current WCW World Heavyweight Champion is a man that WCW and Eric Bischoff are marketing as "the fastest rising star in WCW history". This man, named Goldberg, just happens to wear black boots and trunks.
Amazing! Eric Bischoff managed to market a supposedly "unmarketable" wrestler! Bischoff pushes Goldberg through the roof, making a big point of him being the first undefeated champion in WCW history.
Speaking of that, let's climb back into our SilkySmooth Pro-Wrestling Time Machine and travel back to Goldberg's first televised match on a Nitro in in September of 1997. In that match Goldberg defeated Hugh Morrus to become 1-0. Or so WCW would have us believe! The Sharpshooter Newsletter reports a slightly different story.
They tell a story of how in June 1997, during a Nitro dark match, Eddie Guerrero's brother Hector defeated an unknown wrestler by the name of........Bill Goldberg! So Who's Next? For some reason I find it kind of hard to call someone the first undefeated champion in WCW history when that man lost his first match, but that's just me, I guess Eric Bischoff finds ways to do things like that.
Anyway, back to the Hall/Nash feud. (Does WCW actuall expect us to believe and inner-Kliq feud?) In my opinion, Hall just needs some good old-fashioned hard love. Scott Hall needs to come to his senses and join the Wolfpac, because the Wolfpac is "Bouty Bouty and ...." well, you know the rest.
Before I leave you this week, I must first compliment Iron Mike Tenay on his linguistic abilities. Not too many people could screw up the phrase "steel chair attacks" quite as bad as this man.
On Nitro on July 20th, Tenay tried to speak the above-mentioned phrase regarding the Hogan/DDP feud and managed to spit out "steel chack attairs".
And they call this man the Professor? That class must be an easy "A". That is of course if the professor knows how to spell "A". Just more proof that WCW sucks,(so does NWO-Hollywood while we're on the subject) and Wolfpac rules! Ariba La Raza! Big Silky


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