The Two Count

By Joe Flynn

When it was over, I remember being slightly confused. Puzzled. However, my confusion and puzzlement were not neccessarily bad things. Throughout SuperBrawl's entire card, I was highly entertained. This WCW/nWo event offered more than a fair share of action and excitement, antics and laughs. For the most part, the matches were done very well and the wrestlers performances were terrific. Yet still, the ending had me wondering....wondering how the writers, promoters, scripters and producers think on a day-to-day basis. Because in SuperBrawl, the unexpected really did happen, and in professional wrestling, that causes confusion in my mind! Let's take a look at SuperBrawl, match by match....................The card opened with Booker T defeating Disco Inferno. Both of these wrestlers are hot right now, with Disco generating a lot of heat with his recent induction to the Wolfpac. Booker T is a solid fan favorite, with snappy theme music and Raise-the-Roof audience participation move to boot. Being a Red n' Black fan, I wanted to see Disco actually win an important match and gain a little respect for himself. But it's very hard not to like Booker T. Even in losing, Disco gave Booker T a good fight, and they actually appeared to be evenly matched. Wrestlers like these two are fun to watch...hopefully, this inspires a feud between the two men, giving them each a further push......................As much as I like Chris Jericho, I could have done without the second match. Seeing Perry Saturn on any card bores me; seeing him in a dress is still boring, but also pathetic and sad at the same time. And add Ralphus in a dress...please. Then to truly make me ill, picture Perry Saturn tearing off Ralphus' dress...because that's what happened. Not a highlight in the whole match, except maybe Jericho crossing the line and calling Saturn a "cross eyed, cross dressing freak". Now that's entertaining. Jericho wins by countout.....................Things always pick up when the cruiserweights hit the mat, especially when Kidman is involved. Kidman's opponent was the Eddie-less, Pepe-less, mean spirited Chavo Guerrero, Jr. I want to like Chavo, I really do. However, this will be impossible until the WCW finds Chavo an angle that is likeable. The entire Eddie-Chavo war was silly to me, and I didn't buy Chavo being driven "mad" for a milli-second. And then Pepe...a wooden horse...which he rode to the ring...oh yeah, quality writing and acting there. No one clapped louder than I when Norman Smiley threw Pepe into a wood chipper. And now, we are suppose to care about Chavo turning heel and slapping Billy Kidman? Please. Chavo is a talented wrestler and deserves better writing. Until then, it will be a pleasure to watch Kidman roll and dive all over him. Kidman wins with a high flying Shooting Star Press and retains the Cruiserweight Championship........................What happened next was the first source of my confusion. Benoit and Malenko were defeated by Hennig and Windham. Now, Curt "My Tights Don't Fit" Hennig and Barry "Remember Me? I'm Cool, Right?" Windham are the World Tag Team Champions with brand spanking new belts and everything. What a joke...what a rip off. I am not a big Horsemen fan...never have been, never will be. But I admire Chris Benoit, who is a talented wrestler, great performer...he just has to work on his mic skills a little. Dean Malenko, the Man of a Thousand Ways to Make me Yawn, is one of the most flavorless wrestlers out there. But Malenko compliments Benoit nicely, and they make a good team. But Windham and Hennig? Does anyone like this pair? I am shocked that WCW did not make the Horsemen the champs...they deserved to be.........................If I thought I was confused then, it's because I didn't know what was coming. The next match still has me wondering what, why and how. Scott "Big Poppa Pump" Steiner thrashed Diamond Dallas Page. Destroyed DDP. Tore DDP apart. If I had any guesses about the evening's card, the one "sure thing" I knew was that DDP would defeat Scott "Big Poppa Pimp" Stalker. Who the hell decided that Steiner should win? I am not upset that Steiner won, in fact, I am delighted. But I never saw it coming. All the events these past two Nitros led me to believe that Steiner would receive a beat down ala the Diamond Cutter. With Buff Bagwell's help, two of the turnbuckles were cut away, and Steiner drove DDP into the remaining metal rings, not once, nor twice, but thrice. And frankly, I don't see how they did that. It sure would have hurt me! I figure the writers earned their keep with this match, or Big Poppa really went a little crazy and hurt the man. Oh well, if Poppa cannot have Kimberly, let him keep the World TV Championship..................Scott Hall had two matches in SuperBrawl, let's talk about them back to back. The first Scott Hall showing was as a "surprise" tag team partner for the Big Sexy, Kevin Nash. It is always fun to see those two, those "Outsiders", pairing up. Their constant antics have me in stitches. Just watching them walk to the ring is the price of admission itself. Hall and Nash had to face Rey Mysterio, Jr and Konnan. Sadly, Luger's arm injury had him sidelined...he seemed to occupy his time standing ring side and leering at Miss Elizabeth's revealing top. My theory is her drycleaner shrunk her top, or she's petitioning for a job in the WWF. Regardless, a barber chair loomed in the background as this was the much anticipated Mask vs Hair match, with Rey's mask and Elizabeth's hair on the line. No questions, no confusion here. As soon as the match was set, you knew Rey would lose and unmask. There wasn't any way that Elizabeth would have shaved her head. And, there isn't any way Rey will get a movie deal with a mask on. Plus, he must sweat rivers under that thing! But, I played along like a good mark and watched what unfolded. Basically, it was entertaining to see Hall and Nash push and throw Rey around the ring. No one can fly quite as fast or as far as Rey, and his muscular build allows him to take much more in the way of punishment than someone like Kidman. So, armed with that knowledge, that's what they did. It was a great three man match, highlighted with Nash hurling Rey a good ten feet through the air. Oh yeah...Konnan was there too. It's always good to see the K-Log, standing there, sweating, huffing and puffing. His biggest role was to "help" Rey unmask, and K-Log couldn't even do that right. Rey had to take over, undo the ties, and slip off his mask...revealing to the world that the WCW employs underage wrestlers. If Rey was older than 14, I'll eat his mask......Scott Hall went from hurling toothpicks at Rey to battling the Hot Rod. The Hall - Piper match up wasn't nearly as entertaining as I had hoped. Piper looked in decent shape, Hall looked a little wobbly. But Hall rallied and defeated the Hot Rod for the belt. This match seemed rushed to me, like they had more planned but decided to cut it short or something. The only highlight I can recall was Disco Inferno playing tug-of-war with the US Heavyweight Championship belt. Roddy didn't want to give it up, but Disco knew Hall would beat him if he didn't retrieve the belt for Scott.....................Goldberg beat Bigelow. Any questions? I am more excited to see if Stone Cold Steve Austin excepts Goldberg's challenge. My guess...won't happen. Let's hope I am wrong, because that would be interesting, and help keep my interest up in Goldberg.............................Ric Flair sure can bleed. And bleed he did. Boy oh boy, Ric Flair is old. Older than Hollywood. However, Hollywood Hogan still looks good...Flair looks tired, oh so tired...and Flair always seems on the verge of a heart seizure. Not a make-believe heart attack like the one he "suffered" on Nitro. A real announcer stunning, drop dead, lights out heart seizure that the Nature Boy doesn't come back from. Ric's an old man...he should rest. But, if he wants to get in the ring, then I'll watch him get beaten up. Despite his obvious age and less-than-Herculean-physique, Ric still entertains me with a "whooo!" every now and then. It was a good match, and a match the epitomized confusion. I though for certain that Flair would win. After the beatings that he has taken at the hands of the nWo, I thought it only fitting that he strike back and win the World Heavyweight gold. But no, Hogan retains it. With a little help from Ric's son, David Flair. Who is this kid? And why must the WCW continue to utilize his "talents"? He cannot wrestle, he's "doofy" looking, and he hasn't got 1/16 of the mic skills daddy Ric has. However, sonny boy is supposedly "nWo for life", which he said after zapping Ric with Scott Hall's stun baton. Oh well, I am very happy; puzzled, but happy that Hogan won...........................SuperBrawl was a terrific event. All five of the titles were on the line, and the nWo dominated the precedings. Except poor Disco...only Pac member to suffer a loss. Hogan, Steiner and Hall...all holding gold for the Red 'n Black. Impressive. The only question now is, do they lose the gold and have to reclaim it during Uncensored, or will they retain it only to lose it at Uncensored? Regardless, WCW/nWo fans have had the stage set for some very amusing and entertaining Nitros and Thunders between now and then. We'll have to do this again next time.

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